Fishing trip

A while ago three church leaders from a local town decided to go fishing together.  There was an Anglican, a Catholic and a Methodist.  They row out into a lake and they fish for a while, when the Anglican says “I need the toilet, back in a minute” jumps out the boat, and walks across the water to the shore.  A few minutes later he returns. The catholic says “I could do with going too”, jumps out of the boat, walks across the water to the shore and returns a few minutes later.  Now the Methodist is amazed, he has just seen a miracle, obviously the faith of these two priests is immense.  He too is a devout believer, so he says “I’ll be back in a minute”, jumps out of the boat and starts splashing around in the water. After pulling him back into the boat, the other two say “I take it you don’t know where the stepping stones are then?”

Now this made me think of two things, firstly how pride can be the downfall of us, and secondly never assume anything, its always better to ask or find out.  And as a third, never go fishing with two wise guys!

Out of the mouths of children

Why me?

Why?

 OK, for those of you who don’t know me, I have a very strong sense of humour, although possibly a bit twisted by my friends over the years.  When I find something funny I laugh, although if it is an inappropriate moment I try to stifle it.

I went to visit a family today, and met with the wife, her children and grandchildren to discuss the funeral for her husband. Now, being a fairly family oriented person, i tried to involve the grandchildren a bit, especially since the presence of this stranger in the house must seem a bit weird.  The conversation goes like this:-

Me:- Hello

Child:- Who are you then?

M:- I’m the vicar who will be doing the service next week

C:- The funeral?

M:- Thats right, yes

C:- What do you do at the funeral?

M:- I help people say goodbye to their loved ones who aren’t here anymore

C:- I’m going to say goodby to my grandad on monday, he’s in a fridge.

Now I’m sorry, but at this point, the proud declaration of the little lad, the look of shock on his mom’s face, and the laughter from the widow, I lost it and laughed as hard as I could.  Mom just said “Well its the best way i could explain it to him”.  I’ve heard of people being in heaven, with the angels, or even becoming a star, but the childs downright blunt honesty was somewhat refreshing, it certainly worked as an ice breaker with the family.

On a more serious not, how do we talk to children about death?  Well, I’m of to visit another family, I have 5 funerals to conduct next week, so I’ll talk about that later.

Proverbs 1:5

A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.

Well, we saw this week the first protest by the Police in over a decade, not as some seem to insist because they aren’t getting the pay rise they want, but because the Government have stitched them up like a kipper.  For those who don’t understand, let me try to explain how the police pay rise works:-

The Police and Government, many years ago, agreed that in return for the police losing the right to strike, an independant body would set the pay rise the police received each year, and that both sides would be honour bound to accept it.  Now admittedly the Pay Review Board have given the police an above inflation pay rise for the last few years, however I feel this is perfectly reasonable, no other profession (with the current exception of the armed forces) are expected to put their lives on the line every day to protect you and me.  Not only the risk of being beaten up, shot, stabbed, but also run over whilst dealing with accidents etc.

True, nurses, firefighters and Ambulance crews of all types work hard to protect us, and do encounter danger, but it is rare that these dedicated people will die for their job.  The police however lose too many officers each year, See this post by a police officer , about the 13 police officers who died in the line of duty last year, not to mention the hundreds more who have been injured.

So, what do our politicians do?  Well, they have these financial targets see, so they decide to ignore the pay decision, or rather implement it in a way that lowers its value.  So the police are unable to do anything about it, and the Government has saved about £30 million.

At the same time, no one considers the ramifications of these actions.  Did anyone think for a minute what will happen when the Prison Officers go on strike next, which is a possibility, and they ask the police to work overtime to help the Government out?  Or will we send our overstretched troops in to run the prisons.  What will happen the next time fire fighters go on strike, and the police are asked to work overtime to show the army’s Green Goddess crews where to go, since they don’t know the area.

You want my opinion?  The police will do what is asked of them, not because its overtime, not because the Government asked them, but because they joined up to protect us, and that is what they will do, no matter what it costs them, even to the loss of their lives.

So, next time you see a police officer walking down the street, why don’t you thank them for what they do for us.  You might get a few strange looks, especially of the police officer who don’t expect the public to show gratitude, but at least they will know someone appreciates their dedication.

Chalk and Cheese

I’ve visited two families recently (actually, about eleven but thats not relevant) and you could really tell the difference.  The one family were polite, friendly, offered me a drink and spoke at great length about their loss of a loved one, and about the person they were.  The other chain smoked through my visit, didn’t really know much about the relative, and weren’t interested in any religious aspect of the event.

 Which made me wonder, why do people who obviously have no faith, and no interest in faith, want a Minister to perform a funeral service?  Are we an ecclesiastical insurance policy, just in case something exists after death?  Is it because it is the done thing? There are other options, and sometimes these might be a better choice for the family, such as a Humanist funeral, all of which the Funeral Director could advise on.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to help any family with their loss, and do so whenever possible, but sometimes, just sometimes, there are other families who I could be offering support to who might actually want it, rather than just seeing me as a tea drinking salesman, who will say a few comforting words and go away.  That isn’t what the funeral is for.  The funeral has three main purposes

1. To say goodbye to a loved one
2. To remember the fond memories of happy times
3. To reflect on our lives.

And the last one is possibly most important, its to think of our own relationships with each other, with God, and with ourselves.  The desire to be inward looking is important, for our spiritual well being and for our continued mental health.

Luke 2:40

And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.

 Why does it sound like Jesus was the perfect child?  No temper tantrums, no “terrible two’s”, nothing about him giving Mary and Joseph sleepless nights.

That just doesn’t sound like children to me, although it is how I wish they were.  My little one is awake with a tummy upset, and no amount of rocking is settleing him down.  Only a few weeks ago we were singing carols, and the words of Once in Royal Davids City come to mind, “Christian children all must be Mild, obedient, good as He”, and I sit here thinking , If only.  But as you carry on, you realise that maybe he was a ‘normal’ child after all “He was little, weak and helpless, Tears and smiles like us He knew”. It’s just the bible doesn’t really think we are going to be that interested in the fact that when Mary and Joseph took little Jesus down to the local market he through a tantrum next to the carved toys, it doesn’t fit in really with the image we have of this perfect person he became.  But for me, those two lines make him more real than anything else, knowing that his parents had all the fun and games parents do now, and makes me thank God for the little bundle of joy who is screaming his head off whilst I rub his tummy.

Day of rest

Well, strange as it may seem, Sunday is my day off.  As I don’t work in a parish church, I get to sit on the other side of the pulpit and relax for once.  My weekdays tend to be busy though, last week I had 3 funerals, a number of family visits, arranging to visit a nursery to help with fundraising, as well as the normal day to day work of clergy.  However I love my work.  True, I get to see a lot of families who have suffered a loss, but I get to share, even if only for a short time, in the memories of happy times spent with wonderful people. I realise too that no matter what problems I may have, I’m still blessed compared to a lot of people.

More Tea Vicar?

More Tea Vicar?

Hello world!

Well, I guess everyone thinks they might enjoy their 15 minutes of fame, so here are my musings on life and what happens to us.  All names are changed to protect the innocent, any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental, blah blah blah.  You get the idea, I’m sure.